0 5 mins 12 yrs


Let’s immediately tackle the elephant in the room. Remember in Slumdog Millionaire when they launched into a Bollywood routine at the end, and it was the best thing to ever happen in a film, ever? This episode is in no way like that. Including the bit where they launch into a Bollywood routine.

Rebecca the movie star has, for whatever reason, decided to befriend lowly Karen. She drags her understudy along to an A list karaoke bar (which is essentially the same place the chorus hang out, but with nicer chairs) and Karen’s not so much as ordered a drink before she’s thrust onto the stage to belt out some Snow Patrol. Ms Duvall’s being all super nice, giving Karen her discarded designer goods and cooing ‘you’re not an understudy, you’re a star!’. No wonder these stars have to keep teams of hot-shot lawyers on retainer, if they go around dishing out verbal contracts like they’re peanut oil-free potato chips. Karen loves the celebrity lifestyle: wearing big collared coats, skipping door queues and saying things like ‘David Bowie showed up, he was totally nice!’ to a very mardy Dev. Who is clearly a green with envy closet Labyrinth fan.

Dev’s pretty annoyed generally. He thinks Karen is being excessive, and genuinely didn’t realise famous people get given expensive clothes for free. Despite being intelligent enough to work in the Mayor’s Office. Karen, ever the peacemaker, drags Dev to dinner with her new BFF. But Rebecca gets off to a less than flying start winning him over, by asking how high up he is at the Mayor’s Office. As we all know, this is a touchy subject, since Dev is currently as high up as something the Mayor dropped on the ground from a seventh or eighth story window. She then endears herself to him further, by doing a generic Indian impression. But it’s ok, because while we’re all still reeling from the revelation that she’s a big old racist, they go and launch into a Bollywood number! This features all the cast, dancing by Dev, and Karen’s naked (amazing) midriff. I don’t know what else to say about that. I’m leaving a space in case I think of something later. I won’t.

Elsewhere in Planet Marilyn, the writers couldn’t think of a way for Julia to further destroy her home life, so they just have her weird son run away for the week. This entire storyline is summed up by a three word exchange between hottest Smash couple Tom & Sam.
Tom: ‘Leo’s missing.’
Sam: ‘Leo?’ (completely blank expression)
A more concerned than the rest of us cop comes over to take a statement. He learns that weird son studies Advanced History, declares him a smart kid, and promptly tells his parents that ‘running away is about the most dangerous thing you can do in New York’. He’s obviously never been at that karaoke/bowling alley bar while Ivy & co are breaking into song, chucking around bowling balls and dancing on the sticky bit. Also, imagine being the guy who plays weird son Leo. You get a week off shooting, only to be told you have to go in for one afternoon in order to film an all cast Bollywood scene. Yes, you heard correctly. There really is no business like show business.

As for the rest of the Good Ship Bombshell, Anjelica Huston, now entrenched in a normal relationship, does absolutely nothing of interest. Ivy implausibly steals a song by text message. And Derek loses all control of the cast, after spending the day wearing his stupid Dr Who coat. Seriously, the last time he wore that we ended up in a warehouse watching Karen project 1980’s Madonna. And not in a good way. Let’s hope he’s back in his leather jacket next week.