Smash Season 1 Episode 13 Review

“Tech”

You know in tv shows where a clip appears in the ‘previously’ recap that definitely didn’t actually happen the week before? That’ll be the director announcing that we’re all off to Boston for a tech run-through, then. Thanks for the warning, Derek! I’ve barely time to pack. Does anyone know how much Martini’s costs in Massachusetts? It’s Karen’s first tech, which apparently is considered a thing. And she’s so star struck by people, and places, and life in general, that she has a moment before she’s even left Grand Central Station. This come worryingly close to being a flash mob, but luckily the rest of the chorus gang are there to rein her in before she starts singing.

Remember Ted? No, me neither. Apparently he’s the guy who replaced Michael Swift. Anyway, Ted is so good (despite having zero memorable features) that he’s gone and got himself a pilot. Good luck with that, Ted! But who on earth can we get in to play Joe DiMaggio at such short notice? The guy who was perfect for the role and only sacked because the lyricist couldn’t handle the fact that she’d slept with him surely has to be a front-runner? Julia isn’t in Boston, because she had to stay home and learn how to cook post coital pancakes with her recently reconciled husband. But don’t worry, it won’t be long before she hears the happy news.

As a declaration of the strength of their (clearly doomed) relationship, Karen takes a photo of Dev along to Boston with her. However, when the love of her life suggests a real life visit, she’s far from keen and tries desperately to put him off. One close call with the hot journo girl and a bottle of Bourbon later, Dev does a surprise pop in on Tech. Well, duh! As if he thought he could just stroll on into Tech, which is different from Workshop, but just as referenceable. As one of the chorus girls puts it ‘No civilians during tech. We’re in the middle of a war and they don’t get it.’ Indeed we don’t, Theatre, because we all have proper jobs.

Derek is still stressing about the blocking despite having a whole load of cool dioramas to play with, and absent mindedly tells Ivy he loves her. Then, in what can only be considered a cold-footed rebellion against his former declaration, Derek goes off and sleeps with Rebecca Duvall. In her dressing room. Noisily. With half the cast bearing witness. I really didn’t see that one coming. Particularly considering her painful rendition of ‘Happy Birthday Mr Director’ earlier in the episode. But I guess that goes to show how little I know about Tech. Back in NY, someone’s finally told Julia about the return of Michael Swift. Julia reacts by calmly throwing a strop and screaming ‘Michael is not coming back and that’s it. End of discussion.’ I’m not entirely sure of the hierarchy of this production (is anyone?) but I’m pretty sure she’s at least fourth. What are you going to do, Julia? Throw burnt pancakes at them?

After waiting for several hours, or possibly days, outside the theatre, Dev finally gets to take Karen to dinner. Where, instead of dumping her, he asks her to marry him. She responds incredulously with ‘I’M IN TECH!’ (which, by this point, is starting to sound a little like a cult). Considering this is her first time, she is hella good at playing the Tech card. Karen runs off to her little chorus cronies who, supportive as ever, immediately challenge her to a sing-off with Ivy. While Karen’s outside having yet another argument with Dev (which I can’t recap, as I was busy chanting ‘Break up! Break up! Break up!’ over the top of it), Ivy has a mid-song epiphany and finally realises that Derek is a sleazy cheat. Like, she’s literally just realised, despite listening to him cheating on her several hours ago. Oh, Ivy!

For whatever reason (because we’re in touching distance of the season finale, and at the point where writers can pretty much magic scenarios out of thin air without worrying about logistics) a jilted Dev and a rebound Ivy end up drunk in a bar together. And, 13 episodes in to Smash Couples Bingo, that’s a Full House.